5 Powerful Reasons to Begin an In-home Small Groups: #2 Support & Advice

When you belong to a larger group, you have the opportunity to meet a variety of people, women that have different backgrounds, experiences, interests, etc. In a small group, while the members may be different from one another, they are probably like-minded. There is a reason you join THAT specific group, whether it’s the fact you friend belongs, the group engages in an activity you enjoy, you all have kids about the same age, you’re all single moms, whatever, the members are not going to be as diverse as they would be in a larger group.

5 Powerful Reasons to Begin an In-home Small Group: Introduction

 Beginning in seminary, I have been fascinated by the Early Church. Specifically, I'm interested in the role small in-home groups played in the growth of, not just the Church but Christians also. While Christians would meet in large groups about the size of a small to mid-sized church today, they met most frequently in one another's homes. These house churches offered so much the larger worship group could not. This is still true today, however, my focus is not on house church but on in-home small groups for women. These groups have so much to offer members including these 3 key items:

1. Accountability;
2. Intimacy;
3. Security.

5 Powerful Reasons to Begin an In-home Small Group

My New Wineskin

And no one pours new wine into old wineskins. Otherwise, the wine will burst the skins, and both the wine and the wineskins will be ruined. No, they pour new wine into new wineskins. Mark 2:22 NIV

In Jesus’ day, wine was transported & stored in wineskins made from animal skins. As the skins aged, they lost their elasticity. If new wine was placed in an old wineskin, the skin would burst as the wine fermented. So, new wine was always put into new wineskins.

The 6 No-no’s of Successful Delegation Part 4: Never Make Assumptions

You’ve chosen the right people for the job, asked them to help you in your organization or on your event & made a vow not to micromanage the very competent people under your leadership.  Now, nothing to do but sit back & relax while things happen flawlessly around you, right? Uh, not so fast!

Never Make Assumptions

 

In the last post in this series, I warned you about the problems with micromanaging the people helping you in your organization or with your event. If an individual has never been responsible for anything before, you may intimidate or discourage them if you watch them too closely. If they are experienced, they may be insulted by you questioning them. You may think you’re helping but you might cause more problems than you prevent.

Now I am going to appear to contradict myself. While you never want to constantly question the people helping you, you must ALWAYS check in with them on a regular basis. There is a very broad line between micromanaging people & abandoning them!

Unfortunately, too many “leaders” go to one extreme or another. I’ve already discussed micromanagement. Let’s talk about abandonment. You must never assume everything flows smoothly even if you have the most experienced people helping you. Things happen. Obstacles pop up. And if you are an effective leader, not all your workers are going to be experienced. For some, this may be their first time running ANYTHING. It is important to give new people an opportunity to learn ways to serve but you can’t simply throw them in the water & encourage them to swim. While some people will call for help, others, out of embarrassment will drown quietly in the overwhelming tasks. Rather than working to create a new worker & potential leader, you might create a FORMER member of your group!

While you never want to stare over someone’s shoulder, regardless of their experience level, you do need to check in with everyone on a regular basis. Ask them how things are going. Ask if they need anything. Ask if there is anything you can do to help them. Assure them you are a,ways available if they need anything, anything at all.

It is vitally important you never assume all is well just because you aren’t hearing any complaints. Every mom knows when things are too quiet, she needs to check on the kids to see what is happening… & it usually isn’t good! Let your people do things their way without you hovering while giving them the support they need to succeed. THAT is something the entire team should be able to assume!

8 Steps to Effectively Share a Message Step #7: Develop a Keynote/Workshop

  

At this point, you have been working on this topic for quite awhile. You’ve shared it on your blog, written a booklet, done podcasts & more. Now it’s time to share it with a live audience.

PRACTICE-PRACTICE-PRACTICE

Whether you speak to your audience in person or on the internet with a webinar, you need to be certain your message is ready to share. You can always go back & edit everything you have done up to this point. You can’t edit what you said during a live presentation once that presentation is over. You CAN record each presentation, FORCE yourself to listen to it & discover ways to improve either the material or presentation of that material.

The 6 No-no’s of Successful Delegation Part 3: Never Micromanage

Never Micromanage

As a first time leader, you want to do a good job. No, you want to do a GREAT job! You’re concerned it might reflect badly on you if something goes wrong, whether you are in charge of an event or an organization. Your name & face are what people see & you are going to do everything in your power to make certain everything goes RIGHT! Unfortunately, this often leads to micromanaging every aspect of  of your event or organization. Nothing is going to slip through the cracks on your watch. Nothing, that is, except all those wonderful workers helping you. Workers who get tired very quickly of having every task & decision second guessed by their Fearful Leader!

The 6 No-no’s of Successful Delegation Part 2: Never Ask for Volunteers

In the last post, I wanted you to understand why you shouldn’t do it yourself. You CAN help out but as the leader, your job it to oversee the work being done, offering encouragement & guidance. In this post, I’m going to tell you something you may not believe & then appear to thoroughly contradict myself!

NEVER ASK for Volunteers

This doesn’t mean you won’t NEED volunteers. However, the least effective way of recruiting help for your group or event is by making a public plea for volunteers.

We’ve all seen it. Sitting in church on Sunday morning when some poor shlub has to stand in front of the congregation to ask for help. Sometimes, they are almost on the knees pleading for someone, anyone to volunteer. Why doesn’t this work?

Let’s Remember who We Represent!

The 6 No-no’s of Successful Delegation Part 1: Never Do It Yourself

Congratulations! You have been asked to lead your organization. Or you volunteered to chair your group’s fundraiser or special event. Whatever it might be, you find yourself in a leadership position, perhaps for the first time. You want everything to go great. After all, you ARE in charge!

True but in order to have a great year at the head of an organization or a successful event, you must rely on other people, particularly volunteers. And this is where many first time (or even long time) leaders run into trouble! Not a problem! Jean Ann is here to help you avoid a few of the pitfalls that have sabotaged many a leader! And the easiest way to do this is by showing you 6 things you should NEVER, EVER do! I’m breaking this down into 6 parts so you can comment or ask questions specific to each No No! Ready? Let’s Begin!

 

 

NEVER Do It Yourself

 

This does not mean you shouldn’t do any of the work yourself. However, it has been my experience that new leaders often have problems recruiting help so they end up doing much of the work themselves. This is a very, very bad idea!

I recently attended a planning meeting for a large fundraiser being held at my church. One of the chairwomen from the women’s ministry was chairing the meeting. As the discussion went on, I realized she wasn’t chairing the meeting as the head of the women’s group. She was chairing it as the person in charge of the event. I finally asked her outright who was chairing the event. “I am,” she told me. Seems no one else would volunteer to do it.

This is a problem. The chair of an organization must be able to focus on multiple elements of the organization. If she must also chair one of the major activities of the group, it diverts her focus from the whole. The best way I can put it is this: when the first chair in the brass section of the orchestra calls in sick, the conductor never takes their place. The conductor’s job is to oversee the whole. Taking an active role in a part of that whole weakens their ability to smoothly orchestrate the group. The same is true when you are chairing an event. You must be able to focus on the whole by not getting caught up in a part.

One word of warning: One of the greatest pitfalls of doing it yourself is finding volunteers to do other tasks. Once members see you are willing to take over anything left undone, you may find yourself doing it ALL! This is a quick & painful path to failure. In order for an organization  to succeed or an event to flourish, everyone must do their part. As the leader, your part is to encourage & equip those overseeing all the other aspects of your organization or event.

I know it can be tough. When no one wants to take over a task, it’s easy to step in. STOP! Rather than taking over the task, you must learn how to recruit volunteers. And for that, you must wait for Part 2!

8 Steps to Effectively Share a Message Step #7: Develop a Keynote/Workshop

  

 At this point, you have been working on this topic for quite awhile. You've shared it on your blog, written a booklet, done podcasts & more. Now it's time to share it with a live audience.

PRACTICE-PRACTICE-PRACTICE

Whether you speak to your audience in person or on the internet with a webinar, you need to be certain your message is ready to share. You can always go back & edit everything you have done up to this point. You can't edit what you said during a live presentation once that presentation is over. You CAN record each presentation, FORCE yourself to listen to it & discover ways to improve either the material or presentation of that material.

Never Rush It

I know it's easy to jump into doing a live presentation right away. We all over the thought of adoring fans hanging on our every word. This ego boost is what gets most people over their fear of public speaking. You must, however, wait until your message is finely tuned before you share it with a live audience.

Keynote or Workshop

How do you know whether your message should be a keynote or a workshop? I always look at keynotes as being inspirational. They may encourage you to take action, may even offer you steps to help you TAKE that action. During a keynote, people tend to listen more than write. During a workshop, people take notes. A workshop is a how-to session, teaching people ways to take specific action in a step-by-step presentation. You can use the same material for both.

About Keynotes

The keynote needs to be a trimmed down version of your material. It should encourage your audience to begin the process outlined in your material. It should offer people enough information that they might put your advice to work, even if on a limited basis. For those wanting more information, your keynote should encourage them to purchase your book without sounding like an infomercial. In other words, leave them wanting more!

About Workshops

Your workshop should also leave them wanting more. While it is more detailed than a keynote, you don't need to share EVERYTHING that's in your book. Find helpful ways to point out the additional information that can be found on your blog, podcast & books.

It All Prepares You for This!

Speaking to a live audience enables you to connect more directly with your market. You must however be prepared personally & with your material before you step in front of the microphone! Every other step before this prepares you AND your message to do the job well!

The Problem with Guilt Part 1: Guilt Implies We've Done Something Wrong!

I LOVE Law & Order. I watch it on one of the local stations every Wednesday & Thursday. I watch other crime shows as well but Law & Order allows me to see the police do their job & the prosecutors do their job. So I see courtroom action every episode. Most episodes, at some point, a judge asks the defendant, "How do you plead?" And they have to say Guilty or not guilty. Most of the time, they say not guilty so the show can continue rather than ending early! 😊

Funny how even the most guilty person pleads not guilty in the hopes they can get away with whatever crime they are accused of committing. Not so much with mommies. We tend to plead guilty over the most minor infraction. And most of the time, WE AREN'T EVEN GUILTY OF ANYTHING!!!!!

As I see it, guilt implies we have done something wrong. Not just wrong in our own eyes but wrong according to society standards. If a person cheats on their spouse, they are guilty of adultery. Not passing judgement here. Just saying this sort of behavior should be avoided. If a parent mistreats a. Hold, especially to an extreme, they are guilty of abuse. This is just NOT acceptable behavior.

If however you are unable or unwilling to buy your child the newest toy that EVERYONE has, you may feel bad but you should NOT feel guilty. You haven't done anything wrong. Your kids may disagree but they would be wrong!

I believe most of the time we feel guilty, what we really are is afraid. We fear what others may think. We fear what they may say. We fear we might be harming our children. And to make matters worse, we going onto the court of public opinion, known as social media, and display our sense of guilt so other may judge us. And judge us they will. I have never seen so many glass house residents throw around so many stones! Perhaps it makes others feel less guilty when they judge others.

All I know is we need to stop calling it guilt. The more we tell ourselves,how guilty we feel, the more we reinforce our feelings of inadequacy & failure. Which only makes us feel more guilty, more afraid.

So, to begin this journey away from guilt, become more aware when you tell yourself how guilty you feel and, as Barney Fife would say, " Nip it in the bud!"

Inspiration for your Day!